Coaching is always led by goals. The role of the coach is to help the client to articulate what they need or want clearly and then work towards achieving that.

Which is fine if the client knows what they want.

But when you are unhappy, it is often hard to figure out what would make you happy. Our brains tend to repeat patterns. So, if you are feeling a bit negative, you tend to see the negative in everything.

Which, in turn, makes it hard to figure out what you really need to do to make things better.

And so, we go for short term fixes, like an extra glass of wine, some doom-scrolling or compulsive shopping. Or, we bounce from one project to another hoping we'll find what is missing.

None of which helps us to really figure out the big stuff. The shifts that would really bring us renewed fulfilment.

I know because I have been there. For years and years and years if I am honest. But not anymore. With the help of a coach I cracked the code for my life and have never looked back since.

Now I help people to do the same, but in a much more structured way. I reverse engineered and refined the process I worked through and turned it into my coaching program.

And here's the place where I get everyone to start. It isn't with goals at all. It is with self-understanding.

So, if you want to take the first steps, here's the questions you should spend some time on:

• What are your values?
• What periods of your life have been happiest? And what were the conditions that allowed that?
• What does balance mean to you? Try this if you want to think about it.
• What does wellbeing mean to you?
• What sustains you spiritually? (In the broadest sense.)

If you can spend some time reflecting on these things (a few days or weeks), you'll start to see what is really important to you. And if you can do that, you'll have a better chance of setting some really great goals.

Hope you found this useful. If so, why not send it to someone who needs to see it?

Have a great day, Stephen

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