Do you understand what drives you emotionally? I mean the life-long coding that creates the way you to respond to things.

Most of us don't. We behave in way we've always behaved and we don't question it.

There is a theory that we develop these patterns in childhood as we learn to adapt to our environment. And then we keep going.

This adaptation is really powerful. It gives us many of the skills that help us to navigate life.

But they also have a shadow side. In our blind spot our adaptations can be limiting. And so, it is really helpful to understand them.

There are five main drivers (sometimes called working patterns) that help us to understand our behaviours. On Friday I am going to be helping all of my HeRO Program clients to understand patterns and how to change them. It's going to be powerful.

How do I know this? Because understanding my own drivers has really helped me to be a better coach, friend and husband. Let me explain.

My main driver is BE STRONG. You might say that I have a stoical, self-reliant attitude to life.

The benefits of this are that I am:

• calm under pressure
• good in a crisis
• able to be logical when others panic
• emotionally detached when problem solving
• good with stressed people
• able to make unpleasant decisions
• seen as reliable and steady
• firm and fair
• even tempered.

All of these qualities are crucial to any success I have had in work or in life. I sound great don't I?

But the shadow side is also something I have to be honest about. I am:

• terrible at admitting weakness
• convinced any failure to cope is weakness (mine not others)
• constantly overlooked if I need help (don't know how to ask)
• highly self-critical
• unemotional in a way that confuses people
• hard to get to know
• terrified of being unlovable
• scared to ask for anything, in case it’s refused.
• often absent minded
• often withdrawn.

I don't sound so special now do I? 😆

But here's the thing. Everyone has these qualities: good and bad. We have them because they reflect how we learned how to manage ourselves in our environment.

By understanding mine, I can lean into or away from my default settings, which helps me live a better life and achieve more at work.

So, if you want to learn more about your drivers, how they affect your life and what you can do about it, you should join the HeRO Program and come to the session on Friday. We have a wonderful group of people all improving together.

I'd love to welcome you in. This really is one of the best weeks to join we've ever had.

Have a great day, Stephen

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