Let me tell you about Bill (not his real name, but a real person).

Bill had a good job. And Bill was good at his job.

If young Bill had been able to see what older Bill had achieved, he would have been amazed. Because all he really did when he was younger was hit golf balls on the rec with his cousin.

You see young Bill grew up in a community with not many aspirations. Not a bad community, but not a successful one either.

Bill had some academic skills and they got noticed and rewarded at school. Meanwhile his golf game never really developed, because he tried to teach himself while his cousin got interested in girls.

And so, he followed the rewards. Good grades turned into good GCSEs, good A-Levels and a pretty good university.

At each stage, the path narrowed for Bill. General interest in learning was channelled towards sciences, and then a career in health. First labs and then management.

Over the next 20 years Bill accrued some things. A girlfriend (later wife), a mortgage on a flat (later house), a dog (later two kids) and an electric leasehold car on the double-driveway.

Life was pretty okay. Holidays in the sun in the summer. Shopping at Waitrose on occasion. The dog died, but was replaced with a Labrador that the kids adored.

And it was while walking the dog (nobody else did it after a while) that he started to wonder "Is this it? Is this the best I am going to feel?"

He pretty much apologised for saying this when we met the first time. He used words like "privilege" and "guility". Then phrases like "first world problems" and Britishism's like "can't complain".

So I started by helping him to acknowledge how he was feeling was real. Not to deny it or dismiss it or to compare it with someone else. Despite everything he had, he wasn't feeling fulfilled. "Better to be honest with yourself", I said.

And you could feel the relief in the acknowledgment. He's a good man, who loves his family, but he was feeling a little lost and lonely.

All of this happened a while ago. We've worked on all sorts of issues over the last few months and now he's thriving. His wife has noticed the difference and she sent a message to thank me. Not necessary, but appreciated.

So what did Bill do, I know you are wondering?

Well, he didn't blow up his life. He didn't quit his job. He didn't buy a sportscar. He didn't have an affair...as far as I know 😆

What he did was find the ways he could reignite the passion he once felt for learning and for science. He got rid of some responsibilities and refocussed on things he cared about. This was all he needed. Sounds easy from the outside, but not when you are lost.

Well done Bill I say. He's an everyday hero.

Oh, and he's playing golf again. You know why? For fun. Nothing else. Just fun and friendship. And a reason to get outside once in a while.

Have a lovely day, Stephen

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