For people who want regular personal or professional development advice from a qualified executive coach.
When Drive Becomes Survival...🆘
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"Ambition stops being healthy the moment it becomes a mask for fear." So said Alex Hormozi. And I know where he's coming from. Fear isn't a clean burning fuel. It's not sustainable either. Use fear and you'll move fast. You'll escape danger. But you won't last long before you burnout. But I also know that many of us try to make changes because we fear staying as we are. We're terrified that, "this is it". And we determine to do something about it. The problem with this kind of fear is that it is in the background. You can smell the smoke on the other side of the hill. You maybe see some embers floating on the wind. But your house isn't on fire, yet. Maybe the flames will never reach your valley. Maybe it will continue to be fine. Maybe you can wait a bit longer. Uncomfortable, slightly scared, but not enough to actually run to safety. This is the comfort trap. It doesn't quite hurt you enough to make you act. To pack up your belongings and run. Instead it dulls everything for days and then weeks and then months and then years. All the while you smell the smoke, hide a little and wonder why everything seems dimmer than it was. If this resonates with you then good. The first step is to recognise it. What you are feeling is fear. It's just not intense. And so now is the time to act. Not by making yourself more fearful. But by building an image in your mind of the things, sensations, situations and activities that you really, really want. Paint a picture in your mind of the life you could be leading. Make it vivid and beautiful and exciting and real. Once you've done that, you have a dream. And the benefit of dreams is that they are the cleanest burning fuel there is. They'll sustain you for years on a single image. I know because that's what fuels me constantly. So. What's it going to be? A few more years of fear, or working towards your dream? If it's the latter, start with the simple task of writing down all the things you want in your life. Let me know if you want more help with that and I'll send you some tips. Stephen -- If you’re curious whether coaching could help you find more clarity or direction, book a free 15-minute Clarity Call and we’ll explore it together. For anything else, hit reply. I answer every email personally. |
HeRO Chronicles
For people who want regular personal or professional development advice from a qualified executive coach.
Yesterday's email (I'm sad and this is what I am doing about it) seems to have struck a chord with people in the way I hoped it would. I have never had so many replies from you all. Thank you. They all seemed grateful that I articulated something they needed to read or feel. I'm really glad I sent it. I did have to be a bit "brave" (thanks Jenny), but I wrote it after realising that me sharing my feelings helped a client. They felt less alone. And so I got to thinking, what else do I know...
Some things have happened that I wish hadn't happened. My circumstances are not how I want them to be. My luck has been out recently. I've been thinking I was turning a corner for a while but it hasn't happened. I laughed ironically at something last week and thought, surely nothing else can go wrong ... then it did. And at the same time there's a voice in my head going, "you're a professional personal improvement-y person, so why can't you sort this out?" Which frankly isn't helpful. Thanks...
Let me tell you about Bill (not his real name, but a real person). Bill had a good job. And Bill was good at his job. If young Bill had been able to see what older Bill had achieved, he would have been amazed. Because all he really did when he was younger was hit golf balls on the rec with his cousin. You see young Bill grew up in a community with not many aspirations. Not a bad community, but not a successful one either. Bill had some academic skills and they got noticed and rewarded at...